


fireside

by Kallos83



Category: The Ultimate Sidemen, sidemen - Fandom
Genre: Alcohol, Attempt at Humor, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Secret Relationship, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-09
Updated: 2017-07-09
Packaged: 2018-11-29 17:03:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 3,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11445219
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kallos83/pseuds/Kallos83
Summary: There's too little information to know what's going on.But something's definitely going on.When they're affronted with this in the comfort of their own home,  how will they react?





	1. No Payne, No Gain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan starts many things. Fights, laughter and this series of confusion.

Enthused, Ethan trudged down the stairs, turning into the kitchen.

Damn, the game was getting really fired up.

To be honest, he hadn't expected the video to have gotten so gassed.

He thought he'd get a chill time with his mate, but it had morphed into a party once they actually got going.

Vik had needed to take a piss mid-game, so Ethan thought he'd take the opportunity to grab himself a drink.

Their house was big. That was undeniable.

But the fact that Ethan was turning into the wrong room, actually emphasised it.

Or emphasised the fact that he was an absolute dweeb.

About to cross the threshold of the room, he heard a muffled ringing emit from the corner of it.

What the actual fuck.

Not only having scared Ethan shitless, it was also assaulting his ears because the ringtone was a horrible rendition of Lamborghini.

He wanted to leave the phone. He honestly did.

But seeing as no one else was in the room, Ethan grabbed the phone, just to see the call window slide down into oblivion.

He recognised it as Simon's.

It wasn't the colour, or case, or brand that gave it away.

It was the fucking lock screen of Simon holding someone's hand, facing a sunset that rendered both their faces unrecognisable.

Who the fuck left their phone unlocked?

Who the would fuck left their phone?

Simon, apparently.

Sunlight streaming in from the current sunset that he overlooked at the moment, coupled with the brightness of the screen turned to its lowest possible setting made it impossible for Ethan to decipher the other person's identity.

Before he could relieve the curiosity piling up within him, Simon strode into the room and Ethan almost dropped the phone.

Jesus Christ.

But this was his chance.

Who was the girl in the photo? Why hadn't Simon had her over yet? Why was he keeping his relationship secret?

Questions ran through his head endlessly, his piqued interest giving rise to his urge to tease Simon about it.

"Oh, my phone was-" began Simon.

"Yeah, I was just about to give it to you," Ethan cut off.

Taking his phone back might as well have been prying gold from a peasant's hands.

"What?" Asked Simon, when Ethan wouldn't budge.

"Say," Ethan started, teasing comments and insults already burning at his fingertips.

Oh boy.

Simon wasn't going to hear the end of this.

"Where do you keep the other beer? I mean, like I checked the other fridge but you guys only had this brand. Thought you guys swore the other one was the sickest."

Simon smiled and Ethan's intentions melted into a guilty weight from intending to impose.

"Oh. Last week? Valentine's Day I think? JJ and I got pissed drunk on it. We couldn't stand the taste since."


	2. Sauce drizzled

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tobi is observant, scarily so.

The house was getting colder as the days went, but that didn't stop JJ from his nudity.

As the years progressed, Tobi was beginning to think nothing would.

Trousers gone with his shame, JJ pranced around the kitchen, bowl of cereal in one hand and dignity in the other. Soon after putting his breakfast together, he settled down on one of the stools surrounding the counter.

Josh, Vik and Tobi had been talking about a new game, which stretched out to include JJ once he had actually sat down.

However, Tobi was barely listening. Something irked him about JJ.

But it was just an itch, scratching his conscience intermittently. JJ stood up for a moment, gesticulating with a dance.

Tobi's eyes widened in realisation.

"JJ, I thought you hated that brand," he said, once Josh and Vik had wrapped up their side of the conversation and gone up.

Back turned towards Tobi, it was difficult to get a read on him. The running tap and clattering dishes masking his tone.

"What brand?" replied JJ, a beat too late.

Tobi sank down into his seat.

This was getting interesting.

"That brand of pants, the type that Simon wears. You know, the ones you're wearing right now?"

Flitting hands stilled in the face of Tobi's exposé.

Stuttering, fumbling and desperate, JJ's flustered demeanour gave him away.

"Well," he said after three other wells.

"I'm just too lazy to do my laundry and I ran out of underwear. And believe me, I would gladly go commando, but according to Josh it's," he air-quoted, "'inappropriate' to walk around the house like that."

Tobi laughed.

Not because he bought JJ's answer, nor due to the thought of Josh's mortified face upon confrontation of Jide's lower half.

But because he had noticed the stain left behind by barbeque sauce on the white waistband, that was definitely the same one that Simon had obtained from a food challenge filming the previous week.


	3. we've all gone berzerk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Halloween is a merry affair.

Properly drunk on Halloween watching a marathon of horror movies was becoming a household tradition.

The drinking game this year was introduced by Freya.

A shot for every scream.

As expected, everyone was probably on the edge of alcohol poisoning.

Vik had lied down across an end of their couch, drifting off in a flurry of incoherent words.

Simon and JJ were leaning against each other on the floor, teasing the other with overfilled shot glasses and giddy laughter.

Freya was almost gone too. Her parted lips and breath tangled in alcohol spoke of wanton invitations.

Josh was only partly following the movie. He had lost track of what was happening since the second minute.

He looked around, at the hushed conversations and sneaking warmth scaling his spine.

Since he was drunk, he could genuinely admit it was for moments like these that he lived for.

The quiet, sentimental ones that would seem insignificant to an outsider, but meant the world to them.

When they eventually ran out of shots, Simon ran to the kitchen (but at this point, it was more of stumbling), emerging moments later with an enormous bottle of vodka.

"Your fucking favourite!" Simon half-shouted, half-sang, tipping the bottle into JJ's glass.

JJ downed it, wincing. "Aww, you remembered."

His voice was mixing between the high-pitched, obnoxious one he used for his girlfriends and usual annoying one.

Huh.

"Of course I did," Simon said, plopping himself next to JJ.

Despite being significantly more buzzed than he usually was, Josh was absolutely sure what happened next was real.

JJ slid his arm across Simon's shoulders, steering the drowsy man to put his head in his lap, rubbing circles into Simon's head.

He'd bet they didn't even remember the name of the alcohol they were drinking nor the day it was.

But they sure remembered to be cuddly.

Consciousness heavily laced with alcohol and halfway horny, Josh was still pretty sure this was a whole new level of intimacy.

Even for them.

At the back of his mind, he'd always known that they were incredibly tight as mates, but this- this wasn't platonic at all.

Platonic meant different things for every person. But having known them for quite a long time, Josh was absolutely sure they had ploughed the walls of separation between friends and more.

Hell, by the flippant nature of their display, they probably didn't look back at the rubble.

Their conversation was taken down to an even more intimate volume and suddenly Josh's surprised they hadn't started making out.

Freya filled her shot glass, the quiet 'clink' as she knocked his glass against his, the warmth and familiarity returning in echoes.

Snuggling her head up on Josh's chest, she looked at Simon and JJ pointedly, a drunken pout pulling at her lips.

"We never cuddle like that."


	4. starry-eyed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well.

Gathering his thoughts, Vik looked down at the tripod wrapped in a blanket.

"What the  _fuck_?"

* * *

 

This wasn't the first time it had happened.

Vik would lend something to JJ and the man would lose it in that huge ass of his. Sheepish laughter would be exchanged and Vik would replace it.

But that didn't mean Vik was going to stop asking for his things back. Especially not this time- JJ had borrowed his one and only tripod and Vik definitely needed it to film in the next hour.

Practically clambering down the steps, he knocked on JJ's door.

When he was met with silence, he knocked again.

Glancing at his phone, his eyebrows knitted together, perplexed- JJ was always the last one up.

Vik figured JJ had probably gone out, so he pushed the door open gingerly.

The carpeted floor was littered with props used in videos, half-finished food and discarded snack wrappers that Vik shook his head at in disapproval.

He wasn't one to chide people for their hygiene, given the state of his own room, but Jide had been in a considerably good mood recently.

He'd spent his waking hours showering others with obnoxiously high amounts of energy, heckling a little more, laughing a tad harder.

Vik wished he could've just used all that energy to get his room in order instead of constantly fucking around.

Perhaps he'd been expecting very JJ things to be lying around his room, which was why when he saw a head of short blonde hair poking out of the edge of the covers which came into view as he manoeuvred through the room, Vik gasped.

JJ emerged from the covers, bleary-eyed.

And the most confusing twenty seconds of Vik's life ensued.

"Tripod's under the blanket," JJ flailed in the direction of his table, his voice scratchy.

When Vik- still in shock's embrace, didn't move, JJ pushed himself off the bed, taking the covers with him, purposefully wrapping it around his waist area.

That sent Vik plummeting into a whole new level of curious, but as surprise tightened its grip on him, he was at a lost for words.

But JJ's lack of pants had revealed the person in his bed to be-

"Bro," JJ said gruffly, causing Vik to turn completely away from the bed, dropping the tripod in Vik's hands, "knock next time, alright?"

JJ doesn't speak politely. It wasn't an observation- it was fact.

So when Jide had taken to speaking nicely- which, to be honest, Vik didn't know he was capable of- practically naked, with a stranger in his bed, he felt just a little overwhelmed.

His lips parted, but words caught on the tip of his tongue.

Instead, he gets ushered out of the room, JJ shoving him past the elephant in the room and filling the pregnant silence with meaningless mutters.

The door slammed behind him.


	5. toe new laws

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> simon: fucked  
> harry: smug

Harsh wind whipping his face, Harry ducked down the gravel at his feet crunching with each step as he jogged to the front door of the sidemen house.

They'd just filmed a football video and the sidemen weren't too keen on doing anything else than chilling for the next few hours.

Losing their coats at the door, Harry headed straight for the kitchen and a drink.

The sidemen dispersed through the house, some discussing their plans to shower, others joining Harry at the counter with drinks.

It was one of those lazy days, where nothing really happened. Maybe they'd bounce ideas off each other, maybe they'd talk about something trivial.

But Harry knew he wasn't going to do much in the hours to come.

Or that was what he thought.

Just having departed from a rather directed chat about nudes, Harry needed to ask Simon for some help about a new video he was making.

Which he went up to Simon's room to do, only to see Simon emerging from the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist, bearing a pale white back.

Except it wasn't entirely white. Stained with shapeless purplish-red marks which were littered around his shoulders, the marks stunned Harry into halting mid-step.

Simon had stopped in the hallway, texting.

"Hey, Simon, mate," Harry began, climbing up the rest of the steps, "how's the bug problem in the house?"

He fixed his gaze on Simon, whose head snapped up once Harry had announced his presence.

"What?" asked Simon, eyebrows knitted in confusion. He continued, voice tinged with caution, "we don't have a bug problem."

"Well, the bites on your back are telling a different story."

Simon's cheeks almost go as red as the hickeys he bore.


	6. Minielephant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the truth, but not really.

There's too little information to know what's going on.

But something's definitely going on.

It was in the way Simon would laugh gingerly after being insulted, stumped, with no hilarious comeback. His usual ego absent in his eyes, despite the nocent fashion it had had on his pride.

How he seemed to be in a good mood regardless of circumstance.

The manner in which he looked more worn out than he usually was, but his sunny disposition remained staunch.

Nevertheless, at the core he was still the same person, so no one mentioned a thing.

A blind eye was met with the passing of time in the sidemen house.

Having just finished a meeting to plan for next year's events, the sidemen surrounded the kitchen counter island, pleasantly buzzed. It was becoming a habit to always let there be a serene wave of alcohol douse them in celebration for having made progress in yet another planning session.

The weather didn't so much as allow them to leave the house for Nandos that night. Or morning, to be precise- the sidemen had begun their discussion at midnight and with many digressions and stories exchanged in between, it dragged until 4.

That's also how they ended up knee-deep with questionable clumps of warm meat, directionless chitchat and booze.

"Anybody up for a game?" Simon called, grabbing the attention of the guy, "I need your help on something."

Josh got up immediately, a smile playing at his lips. "No, but I'm down for it".

"I'd rather fuck my mum," JJ added, but the severe lack of heat enhanced the atmosphere to an even more playful one.

Ethan placed his head on the table under folded arms, "well, guess it's nap time."

Simon started, unfazed, "I don't think anyone has done this game before, but it can go two directions and I think it'll be better if we try both. So basically how this works, is that we can only answer questions with questions and we have to do it without hesitating. One will be with scenarios and another would be without."

It felt  _alright_. Everything felt at ease and carefree; Simon could feel his hand touch the tip of the iceberg of a bombardment of focus about to whelm him. The competitiveness was stirring within him and he was filled with genuine elation to take his friends down.

Lack of stress and hustling to get videos up, Simon allowed himself some dabbling around to take place.

But Simon had a sense of foreboding. A rather uneasy sloshing that came from the depths of his stomach, if not for the mouldy food he probably ate (at this point he didn't even remember), he would've backed out of the game and saved it for a time when they weren't so unhindered by boundaries and privacy.

News to no one, everyone snapped into the 'every man for himself' mentality, which resulted in some brutal lashes.

They'd started out without scenarios and it was becoming clear to Simon that there was no way he could use this category for his video. After hurling questions at each other randomly for just one round, the desperation to win grew exponentially. And so did the intent to harm.

"Does your girlfriend really love you or is she just a gold digger?" Harry half-shouted at Ethan, who unflinchingly launched a question at JJ,

"When you cried on Snapchat, were you really emotional because of your success or because your movie sucked?"

JJ held his own, his deadpan tone and stare locked on Josh chilling the room, "Do you even have a fan base?"

Turning to Tobi, Josh said, "how comfortable are you with the fact that you're just part of us for diversity?"

Tobi didn't so much as allow a blink, facing Vik, following up with, "when are you going to tell them you're contributing to the paedophilia on youtube?"

Simon braced himself.

"Can you even differentiate between your right hand and a girl right now?"

Before Simon could stop the pandemonium breaking out, Ethan- clearly bloodthirsty for revenge- declared open fire. Simon contemplated reigning them in, but decided against it, seeing as they were having a good time destroying each other.

It was an absolute battlefield.

For some time, everyone was struggling to insult their offender, until the questions were left to volley between Vik and Simon.

"Did you know you're the sidemen with the most fangirls, but least sex?" Vik hollered.

"How deep has your fist gone up a boy's bum?" quipped Simon.

"Do you actually believe we'll ask you to captain our team next year again?"

"Who told you your football was improving?"

"Two weeks ago when you slept in JJ's bed, did you two fuck?"

Simon's jaw hit the floor, along with his ass.

The raucous laughter and enthusiastic atmosphere that had run abundant came to an abrupt halt.

The room stilled.


	7. KSike

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> hello, end.

Throughout his life, JJ had had many milestones.

For example, the first time he pissed his Dad off so much so he shouted at him. While that was rather bitter, it was still a milestone.

Or the first time a girl used sex toys in the bedroom. Now that- that was an adventure.

It almost measured up to the first time he hooked up with Simon. It was late, they were both caught up in the moment and they were laughing a tad too much for it to count as proper sex.

Some moments were horrendously sentimental. The incredibly cliche yet warm ones that he'd look back on years from now and still be moved by it.

Like the first time, he'd watched someone's eyes light up and knew he had fallen hard.

Or when he told the sidemen he was going out with Simon and they'd let out of a sigh of relief. ("Thank God, we thought you were growing up.")

But this one was not one of those instances.

* * *

 

Simon burst out laughing.

Bewildered eyes were alternating between JJ and Simon, tentative laughter erupting in tense air.

"Seriously though, no. Fuck, can't believe I'm the first one out of my own game," Simon said, waving dismissively as he stood back up. 

"You mad?"

Meeting those sceptical gazes with every bit of indifference JJ could muster, he watched as they turned back sheepishly after being caught staring. 

The edge of Simon's ears were tinged pink, but no one called him out on it.

They wrapped up soon after, under the pretence that they were exhausted, but everyone was still too shocked with the idea planted to continue as per normal.

Once everyone had dispersed into their own rooms, JJ rushed to text Simon.

Just as he received the message, the silence was punctuated by the click of the door opening.

He tried to wipe the smug look off his face as he watched Simon cross the room.

Taking a seat on the edge of his bed, Simon folded his legs.

"That was a close one," he sighed.

"I still can't believe he brought it up," replied JJ, placing his phone down.

"When are we going to tell people about us though?" Simon asked.

But the question sounded so melancholic, slathered with the lack of hope.

JJ must've looked dumbfounded, because Simon smiled and followed up with, "is this too hard for your brain to comprehend?"

And the goofy smile was plastered on his face. The pained one, that definitely wasn't sincere and the one JJ couldn't stand.

Banishing it by pouncing on him and planting a reassuring kiss on the man, he replied, "when it's too obvious for us to hide it anymore."

Simon was all dimples, tousled hair and gleaming eyes.

"Simon fucking Minter, you're going to fall so hard." JJ blurted, surprising the two of them.

And then they fell off the bed.

**Author's Note:**

> Psst.  
> This was the first fanfiction I wrote.  
> Pretty obvious, right?
> 
> Prefer wattpad?
> 
> [Read it here]  
> https://www.wattpad.com/story/105807136-ksimon-disclose  
> [Profile]  
> https://www.wattpad.com/user/aoiyay


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